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John Cena returned to NBC’s “Today” show this morning and discussed his relationship with Nikki Bella over a glass of wine with hosts Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb. Video from the segment can be seen above.

When asked how he’s doing, Cena said everything has been “up and down” but he made it clear that he still wants to marry Nikki and start a family with her.

“It’s up and down. I’ve always been honest with you guys, I also don’t want to ruin the viewers’ morning by giving them a bowl of sadness soup. It’s been up and it’s been down. It’s been incredibly reflective, which is amazing, but it’s very difficult. I had my heart broken out of nowhere. Well, for me it was out of nowhere,” Cena said. “And for anyone who has experienced that knows it comes with a series of bad feelings. I’ve looked at myself everyday and tried to evaluate myself and the woman I love. And for anyone out here speculating on what I’m doing with my life now – I still love Nicole, I still would love to marry Nicole, I still would love to have a family with Nicole. There was an unfortunate series of circumstances where our relationship ended.”

Cena also addressed speculation on what he’s been doing since the breakup, possibly referring to rumors on he and SmackDown Women’s Champion Carmella dating. Cena once again made it clear that he hopes to work things out with Nikki.

“There’s been a lot of speculation recently on me being seen in public and everyone’s thinking like, ‘Oh, John Cena is enjoying the single life.’ No. I was supposed to be married and have a honeymoon over these 2 weeks and it’s been the first time in 15 years that I’ve taken a vacation,” Cena revealed. “I am in my house alone surrounded by these emotionally strong memories and everyday from 6-9 I get out of the house and talk to strangers as social interaction. There’s a lot of pictures of me with like, ‘Hey I’m here with this person or I’m here with this person.’ I don’t want anybody else, I love Nicole and I’m really trying to support her in h er trying to find whatever it is that she wants, that made this fall apart in the first place. And in doing so, I’m also trying to live but I don’t have any other hopes other than maybe one day that we can work it out.”

Cena also admitted that he has changed his tune on some things, specifically the idea of having children with Nikki.

“And this is why. It’s so difficult because this is all kind of part of… she’ll talk to you guys on Wednesday and I don’t want to say anything that she’s going to say because I don’t now the importance of that but over the 5 years of our relationship or the 6 years of our relationship, if you look at me 5 years ago – stubborn, selfish, self-focused, life had always been about me and slowly over time this woman waltzes in and steals my heart,” Cena said. “And whether I want to realize it or not, she becomes my #1. So I’m willing to go back on all these things that I said, and a lot of them I was hanging onto just because of stubbornness. ‘I. Won’t. Have. Kids.’ And it took a very strong look in the mirror for me to be like, ‘Why?’ This person is my #1 and it’s something that’s very valuable to her, and of course we can do this and I think it would be wonderful. Granted, I’m often a horrible communicator when it comes to stuff like that. Like, I say the wrong things and I think guys out there know what I’m talking about. But all of that switched because I love h er and all of those decisions… she’s my #1 and I just want to make her happy. … Right now she’s happy and you want to talk about taking one for the team and really sucking it up? She, I guess, needed a little time to find what she’s looking for and at the risk of my own emotional well-being, especially so close to that moment of ‘I Do”, she needs to be happy.”

Cena also revealed that he and Nikki are still talking.

“We do. It’s difficult because I want her to be able to chase what she’s looking for and I feel as if I’m there, I may be enabling the situation. But those are weird assumptions. It’s all messed up guys, it’s a relationship, it’s all messed up,” Cena said. “The point is – for anyone out there speculating on what’s going on, I love her, I want to be with her, I want to make her my wife, I want to be the father of her children. I just want us to work and that’s just from the heart. All of that other stuff you see is BS. I’m just trying to live life without her on a very emotional set of time that has been very difficult for me. But we’re here, we’re here. We’re here. This is what I want to do. … I think the greatest takeaway from this, I really do, I know for a fact that I was in love. And I’ve never been in love before. I’m telling you out there, it’s real, it’s horrible, it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful and I hurt so much because I know it was there and it was real and everyday I take that and I have that. And if I never had another day with Nicole I will take 6 years with Nicole, over 5 years and 364 days, any day of the week. I’m so grateful and if she’s watching, I am grateful for being able to stand by your side for 6 years. That’s what should make you smile. So we’re good, we’re good. We’re good.”

For those who missed it, Cena was spotted sporting some facial hair while out in Tampa this weekend, as seen below:

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